BRUSSELS

HELLO DEARS.

To keep me sane during my week-long adventure with my brothers, and to keep you all informed of the lollersome antics, I decided to write a daily blog about the experience.

So, day one.

I got off to a somewhat shaky start due to the fact I had partaken in a drinking binge the evening before. Lack of food followed by trips to the Fitz, Three Jolly Butchers, back to the Fitz, onto a rather blurry Fishbowl (as oftentimes it is) and finally a nightcap at mine while watching 'Bedknobs and Broomsticks' was a bit of a silly idea, admittedly. Especially as I haven't really been drunk in a while. What the hell. I wanted to kick up my heels and wallow in my own crapulence.

So I was shaken awake at some ungodly hour by Lee begging me to get up and start packing. Oh yeah, I hadn't packed or anything. So it was all a bit hectic. Adam had been packing for about three weeks for some reason, so I had a lot of catching up to do. When I finally managed to unglue my eyes, I could see the genuine fear in Lee's. He didn't want Adam turning up all irate and shit, which oftentimes he is apt to do.

So I lay there in my fug while I directed Lee in the packing operations. Due to his lack of common sense and my own debilitated state, this seemed to amount to him throwing all of my t-shirts in the case, some socks (which, to my credit, were already in pairs), and some undercrackers, whereas the main bulk of operations was focused on which CDs to take with us. And yes, there's a lot of Madonna. Only ONE Tori Amos album -- this is because I discovered, to my horror, that I've leant out all of her CDs to people and have yet to get them back. But fear not, good reader. 'Pon my return I shall set out on a mission to find them, recover them, and love them. Then we can have a Tori Amos party. Oh, what fun.

Anyhoo, Adam turned up and enlisted Yolande to put my case in some sort of order, which she did impeccably, and after several cups of tea and a trip to the pasty shop, we were ready to go. I had my face squished into the window with a look of despair on my face more or less the whole time, but the lovely Kate Bush soundtrack was rather soothing. Getting on the Euro tunnel thingy was also painless. I got a copy of the Telegraph on the cheap (I know, I know. But it was discounted at Smith's. And, um, for some reason its the only newspaper in the country that manages to spell 'Pope' with a capital 'P'. Respect.), and settled down in the back of the car. But no-one ever told me how bloody quick the train is. I had just manouevered myself into a position with a modicum of comfort when it was announced that we would be on the road in a few minutes. Balls, I would have to sit up and pay attention to the bastard French countryside. Look, I've done France quite a lot. There's nothing new or interesting to see from the motorway. Belgium, by the way, is no different, so don't think I was suddenly inspired to give a shit just because we crossed the border.

Anyhoo, at this point I rummaged around and found Adam's 'travel pillow'. This turned out to be a cushion from his scabby sofa, but it was the best I could do so I covered in Lee's scabby hoody, wedged myself down, and slept pretty much until Brussels.

'Pon arrival in Brussels, Adam realised he only had a google maps print-out of the several streets immediately surrounding the location of the hotel. Long story short, we did an entire lap of Brussels on the ring road (which doesn't take as long as you think. But it does have a few tunnels teaming with carcenogens, yuk), then stopped at a bus stop to check the city map. This proved to be the cleverest thing anyone had done all day, and we found the hotel pretty quickly - before anyone could really get their rage on. Woop! I was slightly worried as we drove round as all I could see was conference centres and hotels. I think that's the only reason anyone comes to Brussels, right? (I suggested gate crashing a conference, but the idea didn't really take with the other two. I wanted to have free coffee and nick stuff. Like pens.) I was relieved as we got further into the ancient centre and saw that it is really a rather pretty city.

The pic is what I can see from our hotel. It's called 'Moon Hotel' - how delightfully whimsical! I am filled with LOLZ. Righto, Lee is getting hungry so we're off to look at more pretty things and feed ourselves.

Now you know, don't be scared.

Peace xx